#070 Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Valentines on a Budget is Sweet Too

If you know our guys or have watched them present you know the truth. They may be the pros but this week's guests are the ones who keep their finances organized. Plus they can't do a #valentines episode without their better half.  Valentines Day can bring a lot of emotions, emotions that can change throughout the years based on where you are in life. One thing that doesn't change is the perception that it is an expensive holiday. But does it have to be? Join us for the Valentines Day edition of Talk Wealth to Me.

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Intro 0:09

[inaudible] Welcome to Talk Wealth, to me, a safe space podcast, where we chat about anything and everything related to personal finance, the information contained in this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute as accounting , legal tax or other professional advice.

Chase Peckham 0:32

We are excited to have two guests that know the hosts better than anyone, Sarah Arevalo and Keri Peckham. Our wives. To talk about a holiday that brings on a lot of anxiety can bring on butterflies, excitement. Valentine's Day. [inaudible] What an interesting time of year. We here in the state of California have just been lifted from a, what is it? Our stay at home just got lifted the.

Keri Peckham 1:06

Stay at home order.

Chase Peckham 1:07

Just in time for Valentine's Day. And Valentine's Day is always a, a, a big topic here at the SDFLC and in the personal finance industry, right. Phil,

Felipe Arevalo 1:18

It is, it's definitely, it's something that pops up all the time. You know, you get the tips, you get the do's and don't do use all money-related, which to be realistic, not everything, it all has a money component, but there's more to it.

Chase Peckham 1:33

Yeah. And it seems it's the first real holiday where you're thinking about the fact that you've got to spend money, or you think you've got to spend money after the Christmas holiday or the Hanukkah , uh, where money, you know, is going out. And then there's Valentine's Day and Valentine's Day takes on such a different viewpoint for people based on where you are in life. Right? I mean, there's the Hallmark side of it. There's all the commercials that we get. Uh, and then there's the reality of Valentine's Day. And Phil I'm so excited. Uh, people have heard us mention our significant others, our better halves . So to speak many times over the course of these podcasts. And we're so happy to have them here today to discuss the reality of Valentine's Day, at least in the Peckham and Arevalo families.

Felipe Arevalo 2:24

Yeah. It's fun. It'll be a fun episode. I tweeted about it. There's a podcast , uh , Twitter, and I put on there, like, what's your most memorable episode? And I was like, well , we'll see how it goes. I'll get back to you in an hour.

Chase Peckham 2:37

And your son is obviously excited too . He approves it.

Felipe Arevalo 2:41

He's down the hall doing his virtual learning thing.

Keri Peckham 2:45

Well, I'm so excited to introduce , uh, my wife and I'll let you introduce yours. Uh, but Keri Peckham is here beside me. I'm very excited. She is a public relations professional at a local school here in San Diego and is also the creator of Time Is Money Mom, a blog and a future podcast. It's pretty fun. Thanks for having me.

Felipe Arevalo 3:10

Yeah . And I have here Sarah , who Sarah Arevalo, who works with us, although in a completely different part of the organization. Um, and she does training and quality assurance, but she's been in the financial , uh, world, how long.

Sarah Arevalo 3:28

Coming up 16 years.

Chase Peckham 3:30

And that is the reason we actually , uh, ha wanted to have both of you on , uh , when we were going back and forth and talking about Valentine's Day. And we were thinking, okay, we're professionals, we do this for a living. And we talk about budgeting and how we can spend less on certain holidays. But the reality is we're two guys talking about Valentine's Day and that just didn't seem like it was going to work. And having both of you and having the different viewpoints between us males and females. Uh, it , it really is an interesting dynamic. And Keri and Sarah , let me ask you guys and Sarah, you can go first. What was your feelings about Valentine's Day growing up? I mean, how did you see it versus how you see it now?

Sarah Arevalo 4:16

Um, I think the main growing up, it was just the excitement of writing out everyone's name and school on their little Valentine's Day in passing or around, you know, just having that loving feeling for everyone. Everyone loves each other on Valentine's Day. And I think it was kind of the same way throughout most of my childhood. I think in the adulthood , it started turning more into the, Oh, you got to spend so much money to show the person you love that you have them on Valentine's Day. So I think it's changed over the years, but it's definitely, I remember that loving feeling as a little kid that everyone loves each other.

Felipe Arevalo 4:55

So for the longest time you had like a weird Valentine's Day tradition with your friend.

Sarah Arevalo 4:59

Yes. Um, so during my single early twenties , um , my friend and I, every single Valentine's Day, even if we were in a relationship, we would always go to dinner and a movie. Um, so it doesn't matter if like we were with someone else. We always spent Valentine's Day with each other.

Chase Peckham 5:18

That was like something that you guys just looked forward to every year, regardless of where you were in your personal life.

Sarah Arevalo 5:24

Exactly. And I mean, it's a perfect timing. The movie industry, they always find that cheesy, romantic movie that we can always go to. And it was like perfect.

Keri Peckham 5:33

I think mine were a lot like Sarah , I really enjoyed the bringing cards to friends and often candy. And when you're a kid, candy is the best thing ever. I even remember in high school, there were, you know, you could buy a flower for someone, so you'd always wonder, Oh, maybe a boy will send me a flower and they'd be, you know, mysteriously delivered to your classroom. I don't remember getting a lot of them, unfortunately, but I do remember buying them for my girlfriends , the same thing. It was just really a show of love and care for the people in your life. Um, I think back to my parents, I do not remember my parents doing anything for Valentine's Day. Um, my dad was frugal to say it nicely. So I think it was probably not something he thought that we should be spending money on. And , um , my mom probably made dinner maybe and likely, you know, they were big card people, so they probably did get each other cards. But other than that, it was really more of a friendship school-based holiday to me. Um, but one I enjoyed.

Chase Peckham 6:29

It's, it's interesting. I've heard so much from both of you that you were , uh, really kind of formed your opinions about Valentine's Day through childhood and, and being in school and giving, filling out those little cards and maybe having a Valentine's candy in there and you couldn't wait to find out if it said be mine. Uh , or I don't even remember. I don't even remember what the rest of them said. I just remember.

Keri Peckham 6:52

Be mine was the big one , right ?

Chase Peckham 6:54

Yeah. That was the one you wanted, right. Especially from the , the , the girl or boy that you really maybe had a crush on when you were in second grade, if you even had crushes in second grade. Um, but I, I always remember it as my parents kind of poo-pooing it like, it was like, well, you know son, every day Valentine's Day is every day in our family, your mom. And I like to think we have Valentines every day and my brother and I used to just roll our eyes and think that's, it's so cliched , but it is something my dad would say, what don't you?

Keri Peckham 7:21

Absolutely, absolutely. The Hallmark will not tell me when I need to buy Barbra a card. I will buy Barbara a card whenever I want to.

Chase Peckham 7:29

Yeah. He didn't like society telling him that he should, or shouldn't be doing something .

Keri Peckham 7:34

And he was more likely to scribble on the back of something. And that would be his card. So, yeah,

Chase Peckham 7:38

But as you guys got older and you started to date , um , and you started to have significant others, were there expectations that you had early on in relationships about Valentine's Day?

Keri Peckham 7:50

I don't think so. I mean, for me personally, and Chase knows this, I don't enjoy cooking, so it was always an excuse to go out to eat and, and it still is. I will use any excuse in the book to go out to eat. So I'd say the times that I was in relationships in my twenties , um, it was going out to eat and having a good time, but it was never.

Chase Peckham 8:09

It was less romantic?

Keri Peckham 8:11

I wouldn't say it was less romantic, but it wasn't any more romantic than another night. It was just maybe a nicer restaurant, maybe spend a little more money.

Chase Peckham 8:19

And that's interesting because so many people I always would, at least most guys I knew in the conversations that we'd have would be like, Oh , what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day? Are you guys trying to , can you get a reservation anywhere? Cause I'm having a hard time getting a reservation anywhere. And you just knew that , that it was like the song and dance and you're like, what's it . Do we really want to couldn't we just do this like the next night and it , we can pretend it's Valentine's Day because you don't have to go through everything being marked up and also the, the, the lines or the, can you get , uh , a reservation can't you get a reservation? Um, all of that Kinda just seemed to play a part in at least I think I noticed for most of us guys that it was, it would give us a little anxiety. So Sarah , did you guys have something of a tradition that you guys started with Valentine's Day? Did Valentine's Day just sneak up on you or was it even discussed or did you just kind of be like, I'm wondering what Phil's going to do?

Sarah Arevalo 9:20

Um, well, when we first started dating, I actually was , um, kind of against Valentine's Day in a way , um, kind of like your dad is, you know, it shouldn't be because February 14th, is here, it should, because you want to, because it's a Wednesday, you know, things like that, again, super hopeless romantic. So I'm all like, you know, I want the, you know, the romantic date or champagne or what, not on a random day, not just because of Valentine's Day. So for the first couple years , so he was, he allowed me to kind of do that. And then he was kind of like, Nope , we're going to go ahead and do I got you , um, a cute thing here or flowers here, you know? So he started bringing me into his traditions of let's do something romantic. Let's go out to eat. Let's find a babysitter, things like that.

Felipe Arevalo 10:07

It was , she hated it. She just wanted to go with her friend to watch a movie. But they didn't do that anymore.

Keri Peckham 10:15

You forced her into it. You're going to have to hang out with me on Valentine's Day.

Felipe Arevalo 10:20

Exactly. So I was like, okay, this doesn't work for me because then I feel guilty as not having, I know you said you don't want anything and you don't want to do anything for Valentine's Day. But if I don't do it, then I'm going to feel a little guilty. And then people at the office used to joke. People always ask because we work together. People say , what are you doing for Valentine's Day? What are you doing for Sarah? What are you doing this? And my joke is always, I'm going to bring her to Jack in the box, or I'm going to buy her a Snicker bar .

Sarah Arevalo 10:49

A snickers.

Felipe Arevalo 10:49

So people at the office believe that I'm a horrible Valentine's Day person. And I'm not saying I'm good at it, but I'm not that bad at it. But at the same time when she was so against it, I felt like, man, that's all I can really do is here's a chocolate bar and here's some fast food because if I did anything more, it was like, Oh, well really? It's Valentine's Day.

Sarah Arevalo 11:14

And he still gets me a Snickers bar, every Valentine's Day,

Keri Peckham 11:18

A big one? A little one? Like.

Sarah Arevalo 11:20

It's usually a little one.

Keri Peckham 11:24

We started and accidental tradition, I would say. And we were dating for about a year and I moved to San Diego and it was pouring down rain. And we, I think we were going to try to go to a nice dinner. And there was a really good pizza place down the street from our house or my house at the time. And he said ,

Chase Peckham 11:42

Birdrock Pizza that's right.

Keri Peckham 11:42

It's called Birdrock Pizza this little place in La Jolla. And so he said, you know, the weather is terrible. Let's just stay in. Let's just order pizza. I mean, it was pouring. And so we got pizza and that was 2004.

Chase Peckham 11:58

Yeah the first y ear y ou moved out form DC.

Keri Peckham 12:00

And we've done pizza every year, since not necessarily the same place. I mean the first few years we did it from the same place, probably even maybe five years. And then they unfortunately went out of business. And so we've sort of tried different pizza shops, but it's been nice because it was able to stay a tradition, but it was something we could still do when we had kids. So we never really did something separate.

Chase Peckham 12:20

And that has continued I forgot about that. Cause it was a big deal. It was, it was kind of like, that was the fun thing that we did and it really wasn't expensive. We really didn't do. We've never been really gift givers for Valentine's Day out of maybe a little trinkets here and there just like little honey, like, hi, you know, I love you. Or, or it's great to be with you kind of a deal, but nothing huge

Felipe Arevalo 12:40

Nothing outlandish. And I think that that plays into the fact that it doesn't have to be , um, something where you go break the bank over Valentine's Day, you can get something that's meaningful. And, and just the idea of here is something , uh, you know, it could be small and I think it could still have a meaningful impact.

Chase Peckham 13:03

Yeah, and it's interesting because , uh, Katie Utterback, who is our at DebtWave, she writes this blog and , and last year she wrote a blog that said 14 cheap Valentine Day ideas , uh, on a budget. And, and it kind of got me thinking that coming up to Valentine's Day. Um, what are the different things that we can do in an interesting situation during COVID? You know, we mentioned that the top of this podcast that our governor had just given us a , uh, he's lifted the stay at home order and you got to forgive me. I'm not even really sure what that meant in the first place, but we are now free to walk about the streets of San Diego.

Keri Peckham 13:39

And go to restaurants.

Felipe Arevalo 13:41

We are now in purple whatever that means.

Chase Peckham 13:41

And we're allowed t o, go to restaurants outdoors again.

Keri Peckham 13:44

Yeah. Get our hair done. Maybe even, maybe even nails and toes, which maybe we could do for Valentine's Day. Sarah .

Sarah Arevalo 13:49

Yeah.

Keri Peckham 13:49

I think that should be our gifts to ourselves for Valentine's Day.

Chase Peckham 13:53

It's different, right? Christmas was different Hanukkah. I'm sure it was different . The holidays , um , New Year's was completely different in the world of COVID everything that we've experienced in the last year, since last March, kids' birthdays things we've had to figure out how can we still make this fun? How can we still make this day feel special? Or this time feels special yet when it's completely out of our ordinary, it's not something that any of us are used to. We're all kind of flying by the seat of our pants, with this thing and how we're handling it. I mean, we've all everybody, if you would have asked any , everybody, if they would become as expertly used to zoom and talking virtually on a computer, we would have thought people were crazy. The only people that did that was if they were in a board meeting, right. And now we find all of us are doing it. Phil we've been writing these things forever. And Katie put this out. What are some of the things we as groups think that we can do and know that we do that won't break the bank and still be fun and COVID and being safe.

Felipe Arevalo 14:56

Yeah. Well, I think you guys are lucky. Your tradition just translates very well. You can just keep it going.

Chase Peckham 15:03

It's true.

Keri Peckham 15:03

Yeah.

Felipe Arevalo 15:03

You know, that that's a good one. You just order in, in your case pizza. But nowadays we have our phones with us at all times, and that means we have access to so many different restaurants and so many different things that we could just order in and you can order in from somewhere that's not too expensive and just do a , uh , uh, like a night in.

Sarah Arevalo 15:25

Picnic.

Felipe Arevalo 15:25

You can even do. Yeah. You can even do like a picnic if you do it during the day or it's not raining, like it was yesterday.

Chase Peckham 15:30

Have you ever expected anything that would be super , um, did you like expect romance? Did you expect anything different , uh , besides just the financial component for Valentine's Day versus any other day, have you guys ever seen like, okay, I saw something somebody was doing or let's just say something romantic, like , um , something you may not do, like a boud.... Maybe, you know, photos for each other that, you know, could be just between you.

Keri Peckham 15:59

I think there are a lot, you know, I just, I don't have really high expectations for Valentine's Day. So I , I think that's, what's hard for me. I think I prefer to celebrate those days that are unique to us. So our anniversary and our birthdays I think are important. And those are days that we try to spoil each other a little more. I think now that we've had kids, I even think that the showing the love on Valentine's Day is more for them. And there are things that we do that way that are super inexpensive. You know, my kids get really excited. I usually do. Um, Hershey's kisses in the shape of a heart on our kitchen table and it's the silliest thing and I've done it for years and every year they come running downstairs to see it right. They're 10 and 12 and they still think it's cool. Um, so that has expanded beyond a couple sort of love situation to the full family. And it's something that's really inexpensive and just still makes it a nice celebratory day for the family. And then they do get to go do the fun stuff at school with the Valentine's . Well, not this year probably. Um, but generally speaking, they go and celebrate at school the way we remember doing as kids .

Chase Peckham 17:00

That's interesting because that kind of brings us back to being a kid and being excited about filling out the little Valentines . Right? Is it Valentine's Day isn't just for romance. It's not just for those couples. Uh, although if you're young and you're dating than it is just about you, but as you get older, I think as it's evolved , uh, we do get to bring our kids into it. We do get to bring friends or our parents, our families of just saying, we appreciate you, right. It's maybe just a day to say, I hope you're having a great day on this Valentine's Day. Even if it's, you know, Hallmark would love you for you sent everybody in your family, a card, but Valentine's Day for a good period of the two thousands spending went down according to the , uh, national retailers Federation Federation. And yet last year, right before COVID hit Valentine's Day a significant increase. And I'm wondering if COVID might kind of.

Felipe Arevalo 17:55

People saw the writing on the wall.

Chase Peckham 17:55

Build on that. Oh yeah. I don't know.

Keri Peckham 17:58

You think that people do more for Valentine's Day just because it's been such a bummer of a year that people will go a little above and beyond this year to feel good and loved and all of those?

Chase Peckham 18:06

I think so I think that people, and it was shown that people spent more money during the holidays this year than they did in 2019. And that, you know, we are looking for any kind of significant.

Felipe Arevalo 18:18

Feel good story?

Chase Peckham 18:18

Yeah. Something to look for,.

Keri Peckham 18:20

Celebration.

Chase Peckham 18:21

Something to feel good about. And even if it's spending a little bit more money just to let people know that you care, because what let's face it, I mean, you guys have spent more time together in this year. Well, you two haven't because you work together at work,

Felipe Arevalo 18:35

See at work the office is bigger than the office area is bigger than, than our living room. So I get to hide in my corner.

Sarah Arevalo 18:42

I see him at lunch.

Chase Peckham 18:43

Until this year. I spent more time physically with Felipe than I, than I did Keri.

Keri Peckham 18:49

Absolutely.

Chase Peckham 18:49

Keri did with her coworkers more right than we do because we are sleeping most of the time.

Felipe Arevalo 18:55

Right.

Chase Peckham 18:55

And when we're not shipping kids around to practices and those kinds of things COVID has taken on a new year where we've had to learn how to live together on a very long term basis and with no site , really in end , um, we've had to evolve as a couple. And I think Valentine's Day, at least for me, is going to take on a new meaning this year. Uh, as we, as we hit , uh, the , the COVID Valentine's Day in 2021.

Keri Peckham 19:25

So I'm getting a real gift this year. Maybe.

Chase Peckham 19:29

No, you just get a longer hug.

Keri Peckham 19:32

A longer hug. That sounds more financially responsible?

Felipe Arevalo 19:34

We decided this year for the kids. And , and because it's been because of COVID and everything, SeaWorld has this thing where they're doing like a drive through lights thing,

Keri Peckham 19:46

Oh yeah.

Felipe Arevalo 19:46

Kind of like they did for the holidays. They left it all up where you actually get to drive through the park. Um, and Barrington is a big fan of SeaWorld in general, and it was only like 50 bucks. So it wasn't like a huge , uh , expense, but we're going to go drive through SeaWorld.

Keri Peckham 20:04

That's fun.

Felipe Arevalo 20:04

At night with the lights on.

Chase Peckham 20:05

that's fun.

Felipe Arevalo 20:07

As their fun thing, little Valentine's Day gift, just because.

Keri Peckham 20:12

Yeah and that's something you'll remember in these odd COVID times. I think what's interesting with the increase of spending in , in Christmas and other holiday gifts. I think, you know, after a really long year, I think people sort of rewarded themselves. And I know that a lot of the work you guys do, you talk about emotional spenders and I am one, right. Sometimes, you know, at the beginning of COVID I bought bathing suit coverups , which were kind of silly because I wasn't going on a vacation, but they were on sale and it made me feel good. And so I just wonder if a lot of that Christmas spending was that, and people just wanting to make themselves feel good by making happy and using money to do it. And so it could be like you said, Chase the same with Valentine's Day that, you know, just something to look forward to and it . And it makes you feel good to recognize others in that way that are sometimes more material than in a normal normal year you would do.

Chase Peckham 21:03

Yeah. I think at least as couples Felipe you and you guys can back me up on this , uh , or not, but I never looked at Valentine's Day as being a thing that, where I had to spend money, but yet I felt the pressure to , and you said something earlier that for like Keri, even though she would always say, you know, this Valentine's Day is not a big thing. We don't need it . We have the tradition of the pizza. There was always that little thing in the background of like, if I don't get her something, is she really disappointed? And yet we talk all the time. We, we have great conversations and we communicate really, really well, but yet there's that little side of us guys that are like, Hm , maybe she's going to be, is this a test?

Felipe Arevalo 21:43

Maybe it was a hint.

Chase Peckham 21:43

Is she really going to be disappointed? Yeah .

Felipe Arevalo 21:46

Yeah maybe it was hint.

Chase Peckham 21:47

Do the kids. And I know Ignacio is too young to know that, but does , uh , do they look at Valentine's Day? Like, gosh, I'm going to get something out of it.

Sarah Arevalo 21:59

I don't think so. I think it's something that Barrington gets a little bit excited about. Valentine's Day again, with the school thing, it's something that's, you know, it's a huge thing for school. Um, and usually my parents buy a little box heart chocolate thing for them. Um, but I don't think it's something that they expect something.

Chase Peckham 22:19

Yeah. I think Clay doesn't care, Avery loves the heart shape thing that Keri does every year. And it's something I think Avery now knows that she looks forward to is what did mom do this year? Or do we get the Hershey kisses?

Keri Peckham 22:30

Yeah, do I get to eat the kisses.

Chase Peckham 22:31

She does love that . Clay's kind of just, he's a guys guy through and through. He's kind of like, all right , whatever.

Keri Peckham 22:38

We have to sort of force him to do cards for his classmates. Now that he's in middle school, they don't have to do them anymore.

Chase Peckham 22:41

Yeah he's Be pretty cool now, all that kind of stuff and it goes out the door.

Sarah Arevalo 22:48

But, and then excitement that you do Keri every single year, probably Avery is going to do the same for her kids.

Keri Peckham 22:54

I think so.

Sarah Arevalo 22:54

And bring on that tradition, which is amazing.

Chase Peckham 22:57

Yeah, they might.

Keri Peckham 22:57

Yeah. And she'll do it better cause she is way more crafty than I am. So hers will be prettier and more colorful I'm sure.

Chase Peckham 23:03

Absolutely.

Felipe Arevalo 23:05

Yeah. I gave Barrington the little art task this week that he's got , uh , he's got some people he's got to make cards for.

Keri Peckham 23:11

That's nice.

Felipe Arevalo 23:12

like for Sarah siblings who live out of town, that he can make them a card and we'll mail it out and he can kind of extra little art project to keep them creative and he likes it. So he likes the appeal of, Ooh , I sent them something. Um, and he , he hates the idea of ever having to spend his money on anything. So it's , it's something he can do for free. He's all about it.

Sarah Arevalo 23:38

But it's something that we've never done before. So just like Christmas time, we've never really sent cards to my family cards out to my siblings. And this is the first year where Christmas time we went above and beyond, we don't, we haven't seen them so much because of COVID. So we did that for Christmas time. We're doing that for Valentine's Day, you know, not spending extra money, but still putting in that extra effort.

Felipe Arevalo 24:02

But of course we picked the one year where the U.S. Postal service is really struggling.

Keri Peckham 24:07

Our Christmas cards got lost for a couple of weeks and then I just gave up on the second half. I just didn't do them.

Chase Peckham 24:14

Well, then there's the side of social media, right in the era and the, the world that we live in. Um, you know, everybody, you know, they love to post what they're doing and where they are in their life. How many, I would imagine that a lot of people feel pressure , uh , to do the grandiose things because of what they can post, what they've done for their loved ones of their families on , uh , Facebook or Instagram or even Twitter. Uh, how much of that do you think plays into people's thoughts when it comes to Valentine's Day? Whether it's just for show or they really, really love what they're doing? Maybe both.

Sarah Arevalo 24:51

It's huge I think it's a huge thing. You see that oh my spouse got me this huge bouquet and it's kind of like, gosh, Felipe, why don't you? I don't want the bouquet, but why didn't you get me the bouquet?

Keri Peckham 25:02

I don't want you to pay for the bouquet out of my money, but it wouldn't be sad if it were sitting on my dining room table. Right ?

Chase Peckham 25:07

Have your picture for Instagram. You're big on social media. You're really good at it. What are your thoughts?

Keri Peckham 25:13

It's interesting because I'm older, right? So I'm not in my twenties or thirties. And so most of the people I am personally friends with and then people, you know, mom bloggers and others who I follow are sort of in the same space I am of, you know, working women who, if we want something, we will go buy it ourselves. And we don't expect a man husband, spouse to buy it for us. And we are more focused on spending our money and our time on our kids. So I think my social media feed is not really full of that though. I could see people in their twenties and thirties and single and dating that that could put on a huge amount of pressure. Something Sarah mentioned about her girlfriend and how they used to go to the movies every year. I've seen a lot of this Galentine's day. So some of my friends who are single, you know, in their thirties or the forties, they've, they've really started to embrace that. And so I think that that's super fun and they take themselves out for a really nice dinner with friends and drinks and all of that. So I think that that looks like a really fun option. And I sort of wish that had existed as a thing when I was in my twenties or single. Um, but yeah, I think, you know, at my phase of life, my circle is not really focused on Valentine's Day though. If I went not very far in my social media feed, I could find people with the jewelry and the flowers and the really expensive chocolates.

Chase Peckham 26:31

And there is time is money mom, right there. Uh , that's her coming out in that I don't need an. I'm going to buy the stuff myself if I need to.

Keri Peckham 26:39

Right.

Chase Peckham 26:41

And that's always been the case in our, in our relationship. You talk about Galentine's day. You know, that seems to be a big shift, which was not in , in my day when we went to school, but it starts with like homecoming dances and proms where so many are not, you know, men and women are just going with their friends versus waiting to be asked by a date , uh, that, that has shifted quite a bit. I wonder if that has a lot to do, I would imagine as a lot to do with Valentine's Day as well.

Keri Peckham 27:06

I think so. And I think as a mom of a girl, I think, I think that that's a healthy shift, right? I , I don't like the idea of her placing her worth on, did this boy send me a flower like I did in 1990, whatever. Um, yeah, so I, I liked that and I liked that these ladies are getting together with their friends and enjoying that sort of care for one another. Instead of worrying about some man woman, whatever,

Felipe Arevalo 27:33

With social media, it adds a whole nother, you know, when we were in high school, did you get the flower? Did you send the flower? Did you. Now it's even if you got one, did I get a bunch of likes that I, so it's that added pressure? That's completely unnecessary, but it might get some people to spend more because Ooh, I got to make a post about this and I got it.

Chase Peckham 27:58

Inadvertently.

Felipe Arevalo 27:58

Valentine's Day post and I got two likes. It really didn't do very well today.

Chase Peckham 28:05

And that's , and that's the thing, right? You, you might spend money on doing something that you didn't really ever expect to spend money on for the basis of trying to make a photo look. Great. Uh, and , and you didn't plan for the budget of that. And it, wasn't the idea of just wanting to , to make your significant other happy or your friend happy. It was, you know, I, how good can I make this photo or this story , uh, become .

Keri Peckham 28:32

I think another social media aspect too , is social media advertising targeting you, right? I mean, I I've been victim to that in the past year for sure. And I've gotten some good things in some less, less, less effective things we have purchased, but I know that they are starting to really ramp up the love Valentine's Day related items. And so it's pretty easy as you're scrolling your Instagram feed to be like, Oh yeah, this thing is, you know, they're good. They target it really well to your demographic and your, your relationship status, that something your significant other may not need, but possibly want. And it can be here in three to five business days. Right.

Chase Peckham 29:12

Um , yeah. I have fallen victim to that , uh , pajama gram . Uh, I did get Keri, if you remember, I did buy you footie jammies, that were cute and sexy.

Keri Peckham 29:23

I do remember.

Chase Peckham 29:23

Yeah. And how, I didn't know, after all the time that we've been together, that Keri hates things on her feet.

Keri Peckham 29:27

When sleeping I cannot sleep in socks.

Chase Peckham 29:28

When she's sleeping, that failed miserably and that wasn't cheap was surprising. Keri, I have found out throughout the years has been very difficult.

Felipe Arevalo 29:38

I stopped buying clothes or anything resemblance.

Chase Peckham 29:41

Jewelry. That's a big no-no. I have , she's got many necklaces that never see the light of day. Without question, without question. So Katie wrote, as I mentioned earlier, Katie wrote this 14 cheap Valentine's Day ideas went on a budget. And so I want to go through a couple of these and what you guys, you know, obviously all 14 ideas are not going to , uh, not everybody's going to like all 14, but there might be certain things that you think that man, that is something I hadn't thought of, or we should do. Um, and the first one would have lunch date in COVID. Would that do much for you guys? I don't think so. Right now in this day and age.

Felipe Arevalo 30:19

Not right now.

Chase Peckham 30:19

Just because of how much time we spend together. Right.

Felipe Arevalo 30:22

We're all together all the time .

Chase Peckham 30:23

But when Keri and I were working all the time and we barely saw each other, there would be days where we would, I , we couldn't really surprise each other. Cause if you have a meeting or whatever, but there would be days where it would be, Hey, do you have available time today? And let's go have lunch. That, that meant that was like a cool thing to do. But in this day, as of right now, I don't think that's big. Um, what about Felipe? I know you were big on this before, but what about like a hike or something like that? Do you guys still do that together?

Felipe Arevalo 30:53

She would not. Not for Valentine's Day. That seems more like she lost a bet and now she has to go hiking with me.

Sarah Arevalo 31:00

It's his birthday present.

Keri Peckham 31:02

I really enjoy hiking, but that would not be like romantic. Plus you hate hiking.

Chase Peckham 31:08

And I hate hiking too.

Keri Peckham 31:08

Chase would complain the whole time and we wouldn't even like each other.

Chase Peckham 31:09

Can I mountain bike on that?

Keri Peckham 31:11

No, the dog and my daughter would go hiking on Valentine's Day, the rest of them no way .

Chase Peckham 31:16

Alright Right. And she , I mentioned the boudoir shoot . That would be interesting that that actually struck my fancy a little bit. Um , without getting too revealing, Keri's getting red . Sorry. Uh, but that is something I think would be pretty cool, but here's a good old, a goodie. And I did do this at the beginning of our relationship. And I don't think it was for Valentine's Day, but make a mixtape .

Keri Peckham 31:37

But how do you do that now?

Chase Peckham 31:41

I know.

Keri Peckham 31:41

Because you did that on a CD, this was several decades ago,

Felipe Arevalo 31:43

You make a Spotify.

Keri Peckham 31:45

Spotify playlist, that'd be fun. Thoughtful

Felipe Arevalo 31:48

In today's world. You would be more like I made you a Spotify playlist.

Sarah Arevalo 31:51

Or I've gotten a jump drive with Brittany Spears songs on it from Felipe.

Felipe Arevalo 31:58

I did do that once. I don't like Brittany Spears, but she does.

Chase Peckham 32:02

Come on Felipe there's deep down a little bit,

Felipe Arevalo 32:05

In her old car, her Corolla. Didn't have, her CD player didn't work, but it did have a USB thumb drive, little adapter thing. So I dug up some Brittany spear songs, mostly from her collection and put them on a jump drive and then gave her that. So that at least she had some music.

Sarah Arevalo 32:21

He hooked it up then when I turn on my car, I was like, Oh what is this?

Felipe Arevalo 32:23

Oh I didn't tell her. Yeah . I just set it up.

Chase Peckham 32:26

How sweet is that?

Felipe Arevalo 32:27

I don't think it was for Valentine's Day. I think it was just a random, I had an extra jump drive.

Keri Peckham 32:32

Act of love?

Felipe Arevalo 32:32

Yeah.

Keri Peckham 32:33

Just sitting on your desk. You needed something to do with it.

Chase Peckham 32:35

What about? What about a scavenger hunt?

Felipe Arevalo 32:38

That would be cool. I've never done it, but that would be. It's a little bit too much creativity for me to set one up.

Chase Peckham 32:44

I think that's my problem.

Keri Peckham 32:45

I think that's actually done. We've done that with our kids a lot. And we actually did that with you for your birthday. The year we got you an Apple watch.

Chase Peckham 32:52

Oh yeah.

Keri Peckham 32:52

So we did a scavenger hunt to a thing. It was a gift just made the gift last longer by dragging them around the house with different.

Chase Peckham 33:00

It was just that one gift.

Keri Peckham 33:00

We've done a few of. It was a nice gift.

Chase Peckham 33:04

It was a nice gift. I'm not complaining whatsoever. Yeah , we did do. Finally flowers.

Keri Peckham 33:11

Here is my issue with flowers, especially on Valentine's Day. And especially if you are a person who loves roses, something that would cost you $14 on January 15th will cost you $50 on February 14th. So I tend to, and I've done this more in COVID actually just because we've been home so much, I've been buying flowers at trader Joe's and it's $5 a bouquet . And they usually last, you know, 10 days or so. So I do it a few times a month and it just, it brings up our house. And so my favorite flowers are actually tulips, which are in season in February.

Chase Peckham 33:42

Right.

Keri Peckham 33:42

I just bought a bouquet last week at trader Joe's. And so I want a little above my budget and spent $9.99 On those because they're my favorite. Um , but I would much prefer Chase to go to trader Joe's and buy the $9.99 ones, then go to some florist and buy me the, you know , $40, $50 tulips or even more for roses or having them delivered to me. You know, some people really love to have that. It's sort of that show factor, right? It shows up at your office and everyone says, Oh my gosh, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, so sweet. Um, and that never really did it for me. I'd rather have the lower cost and spend the money doing something rather than flowers. That'll die.

Felipe Arevalo 34:20

You end up paying more in shipping.

Keri Peckham 34:20

Absolutely. I mean, it's ridiculous. You know, they make probably what percentage of their income, these floral companies , um, there are, we've also found recently and during COVID I think a lot of local families have started businesses. I found a woman here in our neighborhood, who's making floral arrangements. So I got a really beautiful arrangement at Christmas time for $25 . And it was way better than anything I would get at trader Joe's or attempt to put together myself. But it's a local mom and I really wanted to support her business rather than a large business. So I'm curious to see what she comes up with for Valentine's Day. And there could be something really affordable and it's going to her family's budget and not all of these large companies.

Sarah Arevalo 35:01

I'm not a big fan of flowers. I love flowers. Um, I just, I agree, you spend so much on February 14th or even the day before where everyone's trying to buy them. And you're , if you wait until the last minute, then guess what? You got, the ones that are already wilted and you're already paying 40, 50 plus dollars and they're going to live for how long , um, you know, I want that memory, but the flowers can't provide. So, you know, even if it is like , uh , go get a nice bottle of wine instead and you know, we'll just hang out and have a good conversation. That's a good memory. I'd rather the money be spent somewhere where we can remember later on.

Felipe Arevalo 35:42

With us working together, there's the appeal though, sending flowers to her workplace because then everyone at the office is like, Oh wow, good job, Phil.

Chase Peckham 35:50

So you're just looking for a Pat on the back as opposed to.

Felipe Arevalo 35:52

Yeah. But there was a funny story on flowers at the workspace. I went to a, it was an SDG&E in the electric community thing that I went to. And at the end of the event, they said, reach below your table. And if you have the little sticky or whatever, you win the centerpiece. And it was like a little car with flowers. I have no use for a car with flowers. Um , and I was sitting in the winning chair and I was like, you know what, I'm going back to the office right now. Um, I'll just go put these on her desk. And everyone was like, Oh, that was such a great idea. I was so thoughtful of you. I was like, I just needed to get rid of it. I just wanted it out.

Chase Peckham 36:29

Where you honest?

Keri Peckham 36:29

And it was free.

Felipe Arevalo 36:30

To her. Yes. Not to everyone else in the office. I took the praise from everyone else in the office.

Chase Peckham 36:37

I think bottom line with what we've come out of this. And I think for most people these days is, is, you know, just have a plan going in to each holiday. If it Valentines there's no right or wrong, it Valentine's Day is your thing and you and your, your spouse or significant other love it. Or if your kids really enjoy it. Great. The bottom line is though, you know, Keri mentioned this emotional spending. We talk about emotional spending quite a bit, just plan it out. And , uh , as Keri mentioned, we, she did go you $4 over budget with the tulips.

Keri Peckham 37:10

I did.

Chase Peckham 37:10

But , uh , you don't have to do that. It doesn't have to be an extravagant financial bust , uh, just for one day, right?

Felipe Arevalo 37:20

Yeah.

Sarah Arevalo 37:20

And do it for each other, not for the internet, not for everyone else .

Chase Peckham 37:24

That's good thought. And , uh , I think that'll be a good place to stay. Ladies. Thank you so much for joining us today. It was really, really fun to have you both. Uh , and I know that , uh, shoot, I'd love to have you back again for something else. [inaudible] .

Sarah Arevalo 37:52

Yeah.

Keri Peckham 37:52

Let us know when.